Sons of Loki

Last night, the three of us in the flat were burned out (either from work or from exams) and decided to have a chilled night with a few beers. There was nothing on TV, and we couldn’t really be bothered to set up the kit for Rock Band, so I pulled out the old poker set and dealt everyone in.

I first played poker in high school, I think – it was, and remains today, a deeply cool adult-y thing to do. It’s a tremendously interesting game, unlike anything digital or otherwise – even chess lacks the subtle joys of betting and bluffing your opponent. I started playing it again with a group of my friends at university last year, and after some beginner’s luck I soon found myself to be not very good, but I enjoyed it anyway.

I’ve never played for big money in a professional context – occasionally we’d put money in, and I did win once, but I prefer a laidback evening with friends to serious competition with strangers. I’ve been thinking about playing online at sites like PartyPoker, though; the idea of doing it in an online environment and being able to test myself at a level that suits me does appeal.

Playing poker last night reminded me of something else. Since I last posted here, I’ve started work at an opticians, and I’m really enjoying it. I’ve found out a lot about myself at my new job. There’s an element of sales to my position – it’s not hard selling and you’re only ever recommending what’s best for the customer, but I’ve found it a struggle sometimes to properly explain myself and to properly explain the product in a way that makes the customer want to buy it. If you push too hard, most people will – quite rightly – clam up and outright refuse. If you don’t push at all, you end up with a string of “alright” sales, and the customers end up with glasses that are okay, but not as great as they could be. (In particular, way too many people settle for going without reflection-free coatings. The camera in your phone has it, everybody in Germany has it, why wouldn’t you want it on your glasses?)

There are tactics. I’ve talked myself into a corner quite often, where I’ve tried to promote one option and wound up discrediting another, with the result that the customer goes for neither. You really have to play your cards in the right order, and at the right time – just like poker, you can’t get too greedy, or the customer will fold. It’s an interesting business, sales.

Smartphones! Where were we without them? It seems unthinkable that a few years ago, we were getting by with Snake and FM radio as the killer apps. Now you can take a phone call while using GPS to find yourself and then use Wi-Fi to download a map of a YouTube video of your own head … All the while powering an OLED screen so bright it outshines direct sunlight, on a battery that a few years back was only expected to provide enough power to play your obnoxiously funky ringtone.

Unsurprisingly, then, one of the most disappointing things about modern smartphones is the battery life. Using Spotify on a data connection to listen to music during a long train journey, for example, I’ve found myself seeing that dreaded red bar before the trip was even over. And unlike the days when exhausting your iPod’s battery just meant you couldn’t listen to music, now running out means you’ve lost your phone, camera, and GPS as well.

Enter the Energizer AP650MC.

It’s small and smart, with a ring to stick it on your keychain (though I wouldn’t trust myself not to sit on it). There’s a micro-USB port to charge it using your phone’s charger, and a matching micro-USB plug to connect to your phone’s charging port. (Obviously you’ll need one of the Android phones that use a micro-USB charger rather than a proprietary connector.)

Once charged and the little LED is off, you can then take it around with you until your phone starts to run out of power. I tested it out on my ZTE Blade – a budget Android device that doesn’t have exactly stellar battery performance, so the Energizer device is ideal. I ran down the battery with a day or two of usage and finished it off with a few YouTube videos on maximum brightness, then let the Energizer get to work.

It’s a slightly awkward shape, as it’s designed to fit a number of different phones. On my Blade, it covered up the notification bar when facing straight on, and it was slightly difficult to use the touchscreen, so some kind of adjustable hinge would have worked better here.

From a dead battery, the Energizer booted up my phone and started charging. I downloaded a few programs from the market, using the Wi-Fi and display to some extent – the same sort of usage you might have in an emergency situation where you need your phone for just a few minutes. 30 minutes later, the Energizer’s LED went off and stopped charging at 12% as the below graph (sort of) indicates:

So, it won’t bring a depleted phone back to 100%, but 12% is enough for a few emergency phone calls or texts, and could last you a couple of hours (with careful usage) until you can get back to a charger. If you’re the sort who always forgets to charge their phone, it’s a great thing to keep at the bottom of your bag – just in case you ever need it.

I’ve been thinking about visiting Russia at some point next year – there’s borsch, and gorgeous Metro stations in Moscow, and the beautiful State Hermitage in St Petersburg, and also lots and lots of vodka. The only problem is how to get there.

I’m used to hand assembling my travels – find a flight, then find a hotel, then arrange transport. If you get a choice of holiday deals from a travel agent, you might not get exactly what you want, but there is the advantage of sometimes getting a better deal than you could booking it yourself – plus not having to worry. It’s all done for you – you just have to pays your money and takes your seat.

I think we take the EU for granted – you just need a passport and you’ve got unlimited travel across 27 countries. It’s only when you go outside the EU that you realise that the rest of the world is carefully wrapped in red tape. To visit Russia, for example, what you need is a lengthy checklist:

• Find a hotel and book the dates you want.
• Receive a letter of invitation.
• Send it off to the visa company with your passport, application form, photo, and – if you’re un/self-employed – provide a sheaf of bank statements.
• Pay £50 for the visa, £26 for the service, and £7.40 for your passport to be posted back to you.
• Finally, book your flights.

If I can spin a long-winded analogy/heavy-handed metaphor:

There was once a house where the tenant made a lot of mess in the kitchen, leaving food everywhere. This tenant was kicked out because of the mess and a new one arrived. The new tenant complained about all the mess, but didn’t make any effort to clear it up. In fact, the new tenant made things worse by cutting the maintenance budget. As a result, lots of cockroaches appeared all over the kitchen. The tenant complained that they hadn’t spent enough money on bug spray and that the old tenant had made the kitchen a mess.

It wasn’t the cockroaches’ fault the kitchen was a mess. The cockroaches were stupid and mean, though. What needed to be done was clear out the cockroaches with bug spray and traps, because it’s difficult to live in a house with bugs everywhere. And then for the tenant to do what needed to be done and clean up the damn house and spend some money on repairs.

In all seriousness, though, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything in Britain quite as soul-numbingly unpleasant as last night’s carnage. The sooner this is over, the better. And maybe then we can build on a handful of the good things to come out of this – a better sense of community, a new awareness of solving these problems before they erupt in violence.

© Licensed to London News Pictures. 07/08/2011. London, UK. As looters and rioters smashed up shops, looted and fought with police in Camden Town, Philippa Morgan-Walker, 25 and her husband, Jonny Walker, 31, made tea for the police who were protecting their street. Some of the officers had been on duty for more than 30 hours. Photo credit : Joel Goodman/LNP

“Go to London! I guarantee you’ll either be mugged or not appreciated. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway.”
– Alan Partridge

Well, it’s not all bad. It’s never cheap, but London is home to some of the world’s most famous museums – and if you’re wondering what to do on your trip, the best news is that some of the top attractions in the capital are completely free. Here’s a list of the best ones:

• The British Museum dates back to 1753, but some of the exhibitions are far older than that. Key attractions include the Rosetta Stone, a 5,300-year old Egyptian mummy, and ancient Anglo-Saxon treasures. Visitors can even get to handle ancient treasures like Roman coins in the Hands On sessions. Located close to Holborn Underground station and open from 10am to 5:30pm, admission is free for all visitors and foreign language audio guides are available. It can be a tad stuffy – well, it is a museum – but the sheer amount of history here makes it a must-see.
• Facing Trafalgar Square is the stately National Gallery, a collection of over 2,300 paintings from the 13th century onwards. Though small compared to some European galleries, the collection provides an unrivalled sampling of Western art. Just about every famous European painter is present in the gallery’s collection: the exhibition’s highlights include works by da Vinci, Gainsborough, Constable, Seurat, and of course van Gogh’s “Sunflowers”.
• A few minutes from St Paul’s Cathedral is the Museum of London, another top free museum in the city. Opened in 1976 and recently undergoing a £20m refurbishment, the museum covers the history of London from prehistoric times, through Roman “Londinium” and medieval turmoil, right up to World War II and contemporary London. Highlights include examples of London fashion, including styles from Mary Quant and Alexander McQueen.
• Meanwhile, running along Exhibition Road in Kensington are three of London’s top museums – and they’re all free. Fantastic for kids, the Science Museum is the fifth most popular museum in the UK. Streams of visitors come to see over 300,000 exhibits, such as the famous Stephenson’s Rocket, the first jet engine, and a working model of Charles Babbage’s famous 19th century analog computer, the Difference Engine. Recent attractions include the IMAX 3D cinema and a brand new digital technology collection.
• A short distance away is the Natural History Museum. Built in 1880, the stunning architecture of this “cathedral of nature” is almost an attraction in itself. Inside are over 70 million specimens, a world class research centre, and enough exhibits to keep your kids and adults alike entertained for hours – all for free. In the central hall stands a 105-foot diplodocus skeleton; elsewhere you can see a full-scale model of a blue whale, experience an earthquake simulator, and enjoy regular special exhibitions.
• Finally, the Victoria and Albert Museum – established in 1857 and opened by the Queen herself – is the world’s biggest museum of art and design. The V&A’s top attractions include ancient Ming vases, King James II’s wedding suit, a full-size replica of Michelangelo’ David and a stunning 125 ft plaster cast of Trajan’s Column – it’s hard to understand just how huge it is until you’ve seen it yourself. The museum itself is a beautiful example of post-Victorian architecture, with peaceful gardens outside the refreshment rooms.

You’ll probably wind up spending twice what you expected on novelty keychains and mouse mats (who uses mouse mats these days, anyway?) but there’s a breathtaking array of free museums with world-class exhibitions in every field imaginable. Don’t hesitate to drop in on one or more of the museums on this list next time you’re visiting.

Long a favourite in the field of takeaway Italian breads, Domino’s tried-and-tested pizza menu has been updated for 2011 with the addition of fresh-dough stuffed crust as an option on its Medium and Large pizzas. We took a look at the Large Tandoori Chicken Stuffed Crust to see if it can grab a slice … of the market. (Sorry.)

Vital Statistics
With five toppings and at 13.5″ (34 cm) in diameter, the Tandoori Chicken offers a whopping 28.6 square inches per topping. Our pizza came with tandoori chicken, onions, mushrooms, green peppers, and jalapeno peppers as standard, although bespoke pizzas are available. With the stuff-crusted option selected, a ring of delicious mozzarella and herb is installed around the edge of the pizza for increased tastiness.

Delivery
Despite a slight hiccup with addresses, the delivery went smoothly, the pizza arriving 40 minutes after ordering. This allowed adequate room to build up an appetite. Upon arrival, we were pleased to find a free tub of garlic and herb sauce.

Impressions
General impressions of the pizza from my fellow reviewer were “nice smell” and “hot.” The jalapenos were not overpowering, which I personally feel is a plus in a pizza, but some might find it lacks punch. The tomato sauce base was rich and – tomato-y, while the dough was soft and the stuffed crust an excellent addition. Only a handful of mushrooms were provided with the pizza – some may feel this is a downside, but I can’t stand mushrooms anyway.
One downside was the 25 g garlic and herb sauce, which proved to be inadequate for two hungry eaters. We recommend in future at least 3.5 g of sauce per inch of pizza.

Pizza Length
Strenuous testing by two reviewers revealed that the pizza has a half-life of 8 minutes – that is, it takes two eaters 8 minutes to consume half the pizza. From this point onwards consumption slowed. The entire pizza was finished after 34 minutes, an average of 4 minutes 15 seconds per slice. We feel this represents excellent value for money in the crowded pizza market.

Conclusions
While we had some reservations about the garlic and herb sauce, we found that the Large Tandoori Chicken Stuffed Crust – with an excellent tomato base and great dough – comprises a great choice for your next pizza purchase.