Sunday, June 12th
It rained.

After the fine weather of the day before, it thundered and rumbled and poured down for most of the day. At least the lightning flashing over the lake looked cool. We went for a walk when it dried up a little. Milka showed me this thing where you put a stick in an anthill and the ants pee on it and the pee tastes great. I couldn’t really taste anything.
Monday, June 13th
This day we moved to Tampere, the Manchester of Finland. It felt nice! like Osaka or Chicago – that ‘second city’ feeling, where things are a little more laidback and the scale is a little more comprehensible. We dropped off our bags at Milka’s brother’s flat in the suburb/satellite of Hervanta, one of those weird housing developments I guess you don’t really see in England. It’s all enormous apartment blocks at fixed angles, which reminded me a little of Pripyat and other Soviet planned cities.


We went for coffee at a place called Arnolds, which did amazing donuts, and then Hesburger, which did a pretty decent burger. Not much else happened: wandered around and did a little window shopping. Everyone looked downright miserable. I thought Scandinavian countries were meant to be happy places to live?
Tuesday, June 14th

Matt Eating Things, #3: Reindeer Bagel
At Arnolds (again) I had a reindeer bagel, which – you know how goats cheese tastes like goat? Reindeer meat tastes like reindeer.


We went for a walk through town past the beautiful Alexander Church and Milka’s old high school to the Moomin Museum.

It was a surprisingly quiet, dignified place, full of sketches and paintings by Tove Jansson and dozens of beautiful dioramas of the stories made with obvious love and care by Tove’s partner, Tuulikki Pietilä. The crowning achievement was an enormous model of the Muumitalo, the Moominhouse, crammed full of little details from the jars of preserves in the basement to Moominpappa taking in the view from his balcony.
After buying a few postcards we took a bus to Ideapark, a shopping mall out of town.


We had a wander about, taking in the toy shops (ah, to be a child again!), eating at Pancho Villa, running over the enormous map of Finland and environs printed on the floor in the middle, and browsing the expensive bathtubs and saunas on the top floor showroom. Good place to spend an afternoon.
Wednesday, June 15th
The tongue-twistingly named Sarkanniemi! was our destination, an amusement park on a spit of land on the northern coast of Tampere, and we couldn’t have picked a better day. It looked as if it were about to rain, but it never actually did, so the crowds stayed away. We practically had the place to ourselves. First up was Tyrsky (“Surge”), a spinny thing on a wavy track that was a pleasing opening to the day (I think visiting a theme park is like enjoying a three-course meal; warm up with an appetiser, go to the meat, have dessert and then maybe an extra helping at the end if you have time). We rode Jet Star, a wild mouse coaster that was everything a wild mouse coaster should be (a little bit painful but always fun) and stopped for a hot dog, which was served with mustard, ketchup and chopped gherkins in a green gloop which was way tastier than it should have been.
Next up was a newish coaster, Motigee, with a theme of motorbikes. You sit on little motorbike-shaped seats and after a flywheel launch are hurled around the shortish track. It was pretty good, but didn’t leave much of an impression on me.
We went up the big observation tower, next. Nassineula is the tallest observation tower in Scandinavia, apparently. It struck me, looking out over Tampere, how many apartment blocks there are – I guess a big part of Tampere’s population lives in apartment blocks, those lovely European-style ones. I can’t help but wish that Britain was more like this – I mean, obviously we experimented with tower blocks, but it turned out pretty crap. Everyone wants their own little patch of grass, it seems.


After that we hit the planetarium, which was showing some pretty dull movie about fish that had nothing to do with planets. Shame, because I was excited about seeing a planetarium. Then the park’s aquarium, which was alright. I love creepy-looking fish.
On to the rapids, where I didn’t get that wet (sadly), and the petting zoo, which was cute, but most of the animals either ran away from me or looked like they were about to kill me.

After this … meat pie thing (like a donut with mince and gherkins inside? I don’t know, but it was delicious) we rode Tornado, the big Intamin steel coaster. Intamin ain’t no B&M, that’s for sure, but it was a classy ride; big station dug out of the natural rock, a loop, cobra roll, and two heartline rolls before rattling back into the station. It was so empty that we ran back around and got on straight away for a second go.
Dolphins.

DOLPHINS! Who could have thought dolphins would be so smart? We went to see the dolphin show, and I was blown away. Jumping – such enormous creatures – so high in the air – and in perfect unison, three or four or five at a time. It was breathtaking.

After that we rode the newish coaster Trombi, a flying coaster tucked away in one corner of the park. The only other flying coaster I’ve been on, Alton Towers’ Air, is also my all-time favourite, so I was excited about this one.
Milka warned me it was uncomfortable, and it was – banged about, squished and squeezed on the sharp turns and rolls. And yet it was nevertheless a fun ride, if you ignored the pain. There was no queue, so we just went on for another ride after the first one.
The day was dimming – well, as dim as it gets in a country with about an hour of night in summer. We rode Tornado one last time, had a go on the ghost train for a laugh, and then closed off the day with a go on the Magic River – a quiet little boat ride. I was astonished to see some glum teens whirling around on the Take Off ride with stoic, unimpressed faces contorted slightly by the g-forces. Ah, Finland.
Thursday, June 17th
Today we made a beeline for the Lenin Museum, the only one of its kind. Lenin has a bit of history in Finland, and it was in Tampere – in the meeting hall that is now the museum – where he and Stalin first met. The museum was on the third floor of the former Worker’s Hall of Tampere, beautifully decorated inside with marble and ornate staircases. The guy on the reception even looked like the man, shaved head and little goatee (or … maybe this guy).
The exhibits were mostly in Finnish, but it was still really interesting to learn about the path Lenin took through Finland during the tumultuous decades of the early 20th century. They had a collection of paintings of Lenin, including one charming Ukrainian design – made from thousands of seeds – and such oddities as the furniture from his Tampere apartment and a green sofa (in the picture below) that Stalin and Lenin spent a few nights on (not, presumably, at the same time).



We meandered around the museum shop, bought a few postcards, and went for a beer and all-you-can-eat pizza.

Tomorrow: Helsinki!
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